The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, peace, and togetherness, but for so many, it isn’t so. For many, this time of year brings up challenges and stresses. This is especially true for us survivors of domestic violence, as we often find ourselves grappling with additional pressures during this time of year. In this blog post, come along as we explore some common challenges survivors face during the holidays and find guidance on how we can prioritize our self-care and well-being.
Challenges During the Holidays
While many people face challenges during the holidays, victims and survivors of domestic violence face some unique ones, including:
Parties and Family Gatherings: Dealing with potential perpetrators or unsupportive family and friends is a struggle of the season. Being around these people can not only be unsafe, but can be triggering to victims and survivors.
Financial Stresses: Navigating the pressure of gift-buying, costs of decorating, and hosting large meals, particularly for those experiencing financial abuse, is an added burden of the holiday season. Whether you are someone who is currently experiencing the immediate effects of the financial abuse or is dealing with the long-term effects of it, the stress is all the same.
Co-Parenting with an Abusive Ex-Partner: Balancing holiday celebrations when children are involved can be particularly challenging. Whatever that looks like for survivors and their children, having to navigate this adds stress to the season. Author Jess Hill says, “[A survivor can] choose to leave an abusive relationship. But the choice to end the abuse is not in their hands.”
Isolation from Outside Contacts: Feeling pressured to participate in events with friends and family while being isolated by an abusive partner can create conflict internally, as well as with those around us as victims and survivors.
Putting Yourself First: Tips for Self-Care
Beautifuls, we have so much stress on our plates already - before adding in the stress of the holidays. Taking care of yourself, especially during these times, is crucial not only for your mental health, but also for your healing. Here are some tips for self-care, organized into five key areas:
Physical Self-Care: Pay attention to sleep, nutrition, exercise, and daily routines. Stretching daily, finding movement that feels good to you, and drinking lots of water will help bring balance to your body. Also take time for activities that bring rest and relaxation to your body, such as massage or soaking in a bath of Epsom salt.
Emotional Self-Care: Identify activities that bring joy and relaxation, focusing on being in tune with your emotions. Setting boundaries around who and what you are allowing to take up emotional space during this stressful time can be a great way to focus on emotional self-care. Also utilizing creative activities - from creating art to listening to music - can not only be an outlet to express yourself and your emotions, but can also help to empower you in your healing journey. We currently have cohorts open for Empowerment through the Arts for 4-6 Beautifuls in February - March 2024 and May - June 2024. You can sign up here: https://docs.google.com/.../1FAIpQLSftMAPpvRp0fu.../viewform
Mental Self-Care: Prioritize activities and connections that boost mental energy and overall well-being. Focus on utilizing positive affirmations and daily mantras, read a book that brings healing, comfort, or inspiration, or take time to journal. Focusing on creating a positive headspace in a time so challenging is vital.
Spiritual Self-Care: Connect with spirituality in whatever way that fits into your life, whether through nature, religious communities, or personal sacred spaces. Take time to worship, pray, or meditate - again, whatever is right for you and your life.
Personal Self-Care: Define self-care based on your personal preferences, hobbies, and short-term goals. Set aside time for activities and hobbies you enjoy doing, or work towards meeting a short-term goal you have for yourself.
Remember, Beautiful, to speak this over yourself - “It's not selfish to take care of myself, it's necessary. I deserve peace, happiness, and support."
In the midst of all of the holiday obligations and societal expectations, it's essential we, as survivors, prioritize our self-care and healing. Taking care of yourself is a personal necessity. This holiday season, let's embrace the importance of self-care, giving ourselves the gift of peace, happiness, and well-being.
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